Congrats on your new baby, Kim and Kanye!

Congrats on your new baby, Kim and Kanye!

Honestly? I only like maybe, three out of four of these.

Honestly? I only like maybe, three out of four of these.

If your boss ever dares to imply that the industry you chose to build a career in is one where you get treated like a blob of crap, let them know that the house they choose to sleep in could easily catch fire one night at a time when you have a solid alibi.

why dont you have a facebook? — Asked by Anonymous

For the same reason that if someone as greasy as Mark Zuckerberg came to your house right now and asked you to participate in a never-ending, ultra-personal survey that was easy to sign up for but hard to leave, which was all about yourself and your friends and family (with or without their consent), and the resulting data was to be sold to an unknown number of companies you don’t know, and possibly archived forever, you’d hopefully slam the fucking door shut.

22,631 (and climbing) versus 24 (and steady). Tumblr, you are a fickle bitch.

22,631 (and climbing) versus 24 (and steady).

Tumblr, you are a fickle bitch.

This lady has eaten too much “health food”!

This lady has eaten too much “health food”!

Oh cool! Someone is translating my tweets into Idiot, which is great because that’s the language that most people are fluent in.

Oh cool! Someone is translating my tweets into Idiot, which is great because that’s the language that most people are fluent in.

My office building is just filled to the brim with these little passive-aggressive sign, and I guess when those stop working you just start adding passive-aggressive arrows. Arrows that have been laminated.I might just overthrow the system by turning the arrow around so it’s facing upwards, so people will look away from, not at, the sign. Or I could make the arrow point towards a stray dog’s stinky butt/vagina combo on a hot Summer’s day.Anyway, please tidy up your dirty cups, plates, etc to the dishwasher. Don’t leave them for someone else. Thank you in advance.

My office building is just filled to the brim with these little passive-aggressive sign, and I guess when those stop working you just start adding passive-aggressive arrows. Arrows that have been laminated.

I might just overthrow the system by turning the arrow around so it’s facing upwards, so people will look away from, not at, the sign. Or I could make the arrow point towards a stray dog’s stinky butt/vagina combo on a hot Summer’s day.

Anyway, please tidy up your dirty cups, plates, etc to the dishwasher. Don’t leave them for someone else. Thank you in advance.