I tweeted the above “joke”, and some stranger replied “you’re better than that”.

So I said “Maybe not, but I’m still better than you.”

THEN, this guy, this fucking comedy warlock, straight out of nowhere retorts: “but not really” and then immediately unfollows me!

What in the fresh hell? How did I let myself so easily be pulled down from my ivory tower by this mystery virtuoso? I could literally feel my very soul being ripped from my flesh as I absorbed his final, fatal comment while he calmly walked away; never once gazing back to glimpse the implosion of my fragile internet reputation.

If anyone needs me I’ll be on the floor, trying to salvage what’s left of my shattered ego.